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If you suspect that sometimes you are acting in a vampiric way, pause and do a quick inner check to see if the urge is coming from a scared inner you who actually needs you to learn how to take care of yourself.

1) Don’t take it personally – it’s not about you, it’s about energy.

Sally (not her real name) used to wonder whether she had a sign on her head that attracted voraciously needy people until she realised that she had been raised to think that her self worth came from meeting other people’s needs.

She was an expert at spotting what needs people had before they even knew they had them and jumping to it.

That is, give each situation just as much energy as it needs to deal with it and no more.

If someone cuts you up as you’re driving to work, you can either seethe about it all day or keep your head, do whatever you need to do to stay safe in the moment and then effectively leave the memory at the junction.

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Just being conscious of the patterns we play out is enough to start to make a shift towards being whole and complete.

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